2014 taught me a lot of things, especially about grown-up things. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t understand why there are chaos, why people don’t trust each other, why a family is broken, why friends turns into foe when it comes to money…

I now believe that friends you make, your surroundings and money can change a person in and out. I used to have lots of friends because I like making friends, and I was scared of being alone. But now, I like spending time alone. Having many friends doesn’t actually make me feel less lonely, in fact , it might actually backfiring if you make some bad friends along the way. I have a group of guy friends who I have been befriended since schooling. I always thought the bonds between us guys are strong, but I was wrong. There are actually some groups among the groups. Maybe I’m too simple-minded and think that everyone is as friendly and as nice as I thought they are. But some people are pretty sarcastic when making a remark of friends. All of the guys are straight in my group except for myself. Two are married, some are my friends since I was in high school 1998-2004, some even from my kindergarten. San (a married guy) wanted to introduce girl’s friends to some of other guy friends who are still single, but he made a remark that those guys who are not in “snapper class” (which I’m sure is written by his wife), shouldn’t try to woo the girl he wanted to introduce. Even though I know that the remark wasn’t for me because they know I like guy, but still, I feel offended that time. Sometimes a joke can go too far and you can feel it. That wasn’t just a simple remark. For me, that was an insult and personal attacking. Just because he and his wife just promoted from insurance company, doesn’t mean that they have a bigger personality than those who are still fighting hard to make a living. Second case, a friend who is always asking where the other guys are at – but never show up. There is Tom, who always shows up in the group chat and asks the location of the other members without the intention to show up. Words are always sarcastic, hard to keep his words, and the way he talks always brings suspicions. He is a friend since junior high school. He will survive in his business but I don’t think he will be a good friend. Third case, my ex business-partner, Don. He likes to brag about almost everything and acted like he knows everything better than others. I dislike this kind of person, and I think he dislikes me too since I withdraw my partnership with them. It suddenly occurs me, is it only me that feel they are changing to become more arrogant when they are richer or everyone feels the same way like I do but they just don’t say it out loud?

I’m a small boss now. I own a small men’s clothing shop and I hired a staff. She always brings her lunch and always eats them around 3 or 4pm. When I asked her, she told me that she only ate once despite her rounded body figure. Although I don’t earn much now, but sometimes two meals a day for me seems too little, how does she survive with just a meal a day? I remember the old saying, “We learn more from the poor rather than from the rich”. So we always accommodate our lifestyle with our income. When we are poor, we live the poorer way. When we are rich, we live in a richer way. The problem isn’t about the money, but it’s the way we live and how we think. So, how does money change a person? Or a person choose to change because of money? That’s something to think deep enough. I’m just hoping that someday when I’m well-being enough, I still be the respectable type and low profile enough.

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